Sunday, January 30, 2005

Nightclubbin': A Social Study
I was rather excited when Cereal Killer and his friend Brian decided to open up a bar in my little town. It wasn't because I figured I'd have an open tab at the bar or would be able to pick up on all the fine women with lines such as "Yeah, I'm close friends with the owner... Would you like to take a special tour of the place?". I love watching people, and I knew that this would be a great place to watch folks in both a place and a state of mind that were unfamiliar to me. Let me assure you, it has been all I hoped for and more.

Bunny, Cereal Killer's wife, is a damn attractive woman (sorry to embarrass you, Bunny, but it's true!). On several occasions, I've seen guys scoping out Bunny. At first it's just casual glances, but that leads to staring and drooling. The next step is to start talking to his friends about her. Inevitably, one friend in the group knows that Bunny is Cereal Killer's wife, and tells the guy to back off. It's kind of funny, but drunkenness brings out the "Fear" in some folks. Several times, I've seen the guy approach Cereal Killer and apologize profusely about looking at Bunny, but not knowing that they were married and how he never meant any disrespect and hoped there would be no hard feelings. It's kind of like a spiritual awakening where the guy knows that it's a sin to lust after a woman, even if it's just in his mind. He must repent quickly or be thrust to hell (or at least get cut off at the bar or even 86'd from the club). Neither Bunny nor Cereal Killer knew any of this was happening, but these guys have been reborn.

Also, along the lines of promiscuity, the night before last was an exceptional night of fun and watching. The previous owners of the club had put a stage in for live music. The city wouldn't let us open up with an unsecured stage, so we walled off the stage with a pony wall and now it is used as a "private" suite area. It overlooks all of the dance floor and bar area. It is secluded enough that you could do just about anything up there. You could have a private conversation, buy, sell or use drugs, or get some quick lovin'. That is what happened night before last.

I was playing pool with Cereal Killer and some friends when Trish (a forgotten friend from High School) and I saw a girl lead a guy up on the old stage. The girl had been "dancing" with this guy for some time. You know the type of dancing, the whole bump-and-grind action that is so popular with the kids these days... Anyway, Trish and I watched them walk up on the stage, then disappear below the pony wall. We both laughed a bit, but then my prudishness kicked in. I told Cereal Killer about it, and he giggled about it for a bit, but then his prudishness kicked in. He told Anthony, the security guy, to break things up. Anthony's prudishness and embarrassment kicked in and he called over one of the girl's friends to go and break things up. She walked up there, reluctantly, and told the couple to finish up and get down from there.

Last night, while telling the story to some new folks, I was informed that the girl's sexual exploits were commonly seen around town. This was nothing new to the rest of society, just to me.

Darn it if people watching isn't some good stuff!

Thursday, January 27, 2005

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The fog has been holding us captive for a week now. Sure, I haven't seen the sun since it rolled in, but it does have some cool effects. The "frostcicles" on this plant are about an inch long. Frostcicles cover nearly everything not mobile. If I were to stand outside long enough, I'd be covered in them too.

I decided to give up on the Garrison Keillor book I had been reading and take it back to the library yesterday. While five minutes of a Lake Wobegon monologue might be OK, a whole book can be a little hard to digest. I think I'll find a book of short stories in a month or so and see if I have a better experience. Anyway, the library isn't a place I should go when I'm hungry and cranky. It's hard enough trying to find quality books there with a cherry mindset. I went in with a list of books I wanted to read, but a quick check of the on-site computer proved that they were not to be found within the building. I hate to leave the library empty-handed, so I had to wander around until I found something interesting. It took me about half an hour to make my way back to the "V's" when I found the Kurt Vonnegut books. I read Slaughterhouse Five a few months back, so I decided to give Jailbird a chance. If you've read it, let me know what you thought of it. I'd love to get your impressions.

Well, maybe going to the library when I'm cranky isn't such a bad thing because I walked out feeling a little better about the day.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Haunted Paintings?
One fun(?) thing about being an insomniac is that you hear a lot of interesting things on talk radio, should you choose to listen to it. This morning on Coast to Coast with George Noory, George had a guest named John Zaffis who talked about paranormal encounters. I guess that John has had dealings with some high-profile exorcists over his 30 year run. What I found most interesting about the interview was most about "haunted" items. Things like pictures or clocks that seemed to have paranormal properties to them. All that talk reminded me of my own personal experience with something similar.

About 22 years ago, my grandmother (my mom's mom) had a stroke and could no longer take care of herself. Grandpa had died about five years earlier, and because of politics that I didn't understand, it was decided that she would move up to Washington state where her oldest son could take care of her. That meant that all the property in Grandma's house needed to be divided up or given away. Each of my mom's siblings (two younger sisters and her older brother) walked through the house and chose certain items. What my mom chose was an oil painting of an old desk with a globe sitting on it as well as a bronze eagle and some writing implements. I didn't know that she'd brought that particular picture home and put it in the basement, but soon after, I started having horrible nightmares. I'd wake up screaming and mom and dad would think that I was just stressing out because Grandma had been sick. A few nights into all this drama, mom asked me what was bothering me so much. I told her that I was dreaming of the painting in Grandma's house and how it scared me for some reason that I couldn't really explain. It wasn't long before mom called one of her sisters and asked her to take painting. It was a few months later when my mom told me about her bringing the painting in the house.

I don't know what it was about the painting, but just the fact that it came in my house affected me badly. I didn't even know it was there, but I was affected.

I haven't thought about that painting for years, only to be reminded about it just a few hours ago. I think I'm old enough and over it enough to ask my aunt about the painting next time I see her. It would be interesting to see it again and see what feelings it brings.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

William Shatner sings...
When I listen to music as I shave my head, it gives me a chance to really listen to the lyrics of the music. This is something that I should have done before I gave Has Been by William Shatner a good review in general. I'm not saying that it's a bad CD, but it's not a good CD for everybody. It's awful depressing. Take this song for example:

What Have You Done?
She was underwater
In the shadows
Was it there, was it not?
I stepped back
A veil in front of my eyes
The water was still and so was she
I dove in with so little breath
In truth I knew
I was too late for death
I had one chance
I grasped her arm and floated upwards
Wanting to stay below in the warm forgiving water
"What have you done?!" I screamed to the stars
Then over to the shallow edge
She was face down
Smaller and more vulnerable than in life
Her curls wet around her ears and neck
Her dear profile at peace at last
A finger in her throat sounded a click
Her body still and blue
Is this what death looks like?
My love was supposed to protect her
It didn't
My love was supposed to heal her
It didn't
You had said don't leave me
And I begged you not to leave me
We did
This song references discovering his wife dead in their swimming pool. This is an honest-to-God, true-to-life experience of William Shatner.

Not all songs are this depressing. Some are kinda funny like Ideal Woman and I Can't Get Behind That, but all in all, it's just a weird, sad CD.

This CD is a lot like Magic and Loss by Lou Reed. They're both sad and depressing, yet morbidly funny at times. So if you're into all that, give it a shot, but this is not music for everybody.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

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I went walking with a few purposes today. One was to hit the nearby convenience store to see if they had any of the new Wild Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper in stock. No such luck. You'll have to wait a bit longer to hear my review of that potential slop.

The second reason I went out walking was to contemplate how much of a bastard I am. Notice that I didn't ask if I was acting like a bastard, but just how badly I am really acting.

*quick pause to put in "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC... aaahhhh, much better (how's that for irony?)*

The basic question I have is how much deeper must I sink before I've made permanent my place on the 8th ring of hell? Oh well, at least I haven't killed anybody lately. That's a plus. Oh, and if you are reading this, I'm not talking about you...

On to happier thoughts. I've had a chance to give a quick listen to the Modest Mouse and William Shatner CDs that I bought a few days ago. The Moon & Antarctica by Modest Mouse is a really, really good listen. It's a hard call to say whether it or Good News For People Who Love Bad News is better. Also, Has Been by William Shatner isn't too bad. I bought it mainly for his cover of a Pulp song called Common People. I'll have to give the CD a few more listens because I'm not 100% sure if Shatner is serious or not. There's a lot of other pity-inducing songs on the album, so I'm still digging to see if he's having a good laugh at our expense or not.

Lastly, just because I've got to be true to my trendy, materialistic roots, I just ordered the new CD from The Killers. It blew my mind when my brother told me that they were from Las Vegas (wanna give a shoutout on behalf of your hommies, Alli?). Like I said above, I dig Pulp, and they have a Pulp-ish kinda vibe to them, from what I've heard. I'll be sure to let you know what I think of that particular album when it is delivered.

Friday, January 21, 2005

The Big City, pt. 1
What better way to celebrate Sinister Coffee's birthday than to go out and buy a bunch of stuff? Yeeee-haw! Actually, I just needed to burn through some gift cards from MediaPlay that I'd received at Christmas. So I met up with Russ and went into The Big City to do some crazy shopping. This is the list of stuff that I got: Now I know that the linkys go to the site, but the site didn't want to play the way I liked.

The thing I discovered about my trip to MediaPlay was that I no longer like the store. They mostly have top-of-the-line prices for top-of-the-line products, and little else. Their selection on older stuff is lacking, although from what I got, you couldn't really tell. The only "new" products on my list were the William Shatner CD and the .hack Manga. What doesn't show on the list is that it took me nearly an hour to get everything. Mind you, I did go in with a shopping list, too. I am happy with what I got, but I have this nagging feeling that I settled for lesser products than were on my list. Oh well, I now have more stuff than I need to perpetrate my excessive American lifestyle. Isn't that what it's all about? Accumulating more stuff than we need? Hell yeah!

There were more exciting things that happened in The Big City, but that will have to wait for a later date. So keep checking back to read details of eating steamed chicken feet and watching the police cuffing up homeless folk!

Thursday, January 20, 2005

A Most Important Day...
Wellllll, dawgies! Have you looked at the calendar today? It's the 20th of January. Contrary to what you hear on the news, the big event today is not the Inaugural celebration going on in Washington D.C., it's Sinister Coffee's birthday! Hooray! It's been fun, hasn't it?

But now that's been said, let's get to business.

It seems most assuredly that Condoleezza Rice will be confirmed as Secretary of State. Yippie?!?!?!!? I'm probably not the most qualified person to spout off about this because I've avoided listening to the hearings like the plague. I am still so burned out by the partisan politics games that were played late last year surrounding the presidential election.

But that being said, I'm really, really, REALLY kind of leery about Bush and his new group of buddies. During his first administration, I think he pooled together a good group of folks. Building a better cabinet through hiring the most qualified, so to speak. And regardless of what you personally think of the job that was done, it was exactly what G.W. wanted. Now for the second administration, G.W. has bumped out all the undesirables (anybody think Colin Powell?). This new group isn't being based on who's most qualified, but who's most loyal. And with G.W.'s undeniable mandate(?), I'm just hoping that he doesn't go too far overboard.

Anyway, the only "no" votes for Condi came from Barbara Boxer and John Kerry. I don't know that much from Boxer, but what I really would have enjoyed hearing from Kerry comes from my imagination:
Ms. Rice. Unless you've had your head in the sand, you know that I loathe your boss. It's not something that can be cleared up over a few beers at the White House bar, either. I want to see him go down in flames. Anyhow, I don't like you much either. You're a pompous little such-and-such, and I think a decapitated chicken would do a better job as Secretary of State than you. And I'm not talking about a freshly decapitated chicken, I'm thinking of something like a week-old chicken. This being said, you won't be getting my vote of approval. There's nothing you can say or do while sitting in front of this panel that will change my mind. Thusly, I won't be asking you any questions. I find it futile to waste any of my time on you. Good day.
Now wouldn't that have been cool?

And lastly, check out this Kool-Aid Bag! My mom's friend and daughter are making these things as a fund raiser kind of thing. Not only are they cute, but they smell like the product the once contained. It's the strangest thing. If you have room in your life for a new bag, buy one by all means! Oh, and if you do, tell her that Sinister Coffee sent you. I don't get any kickbacks, but I think it would be funny to make a poor lady wonder who this Sinister Coffee is!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Back to the roots...
Back in the day, all that blogs consisted of were lists of websites. Those 'blogs (short for "web log") were basically just lists of websites that the author had visited. Now things have changed up a bit. The definition has been muddied up some. Take Sinister Coffee for example. I have some links to fun websites, but most of the content is a personal diary. That seems to be the way that most of the blogs I read are too. Not that I don't appreciate reading these things, but I thought I'd kinda go back to basics today. I discovered this site as a link on This is a site of some mostly useless yet hilarious information. I've only read through a couple articles, but I feel more enlightened already.

Modern Drunkard Magazine: This stuff is serious. Well, kinda. I understand that this comes in honest-to-God print form, too. I'm currently seeing what it takes to get the paper magazine into Cereal Killer's club.

The Three Amigos: Here's some fun PSA (Public Service Announcement) ads featuring moving and grooving condoms. I am currently trying to snag the ads in DVD form. Seriously.

Angry Alien Productions: Have you ever wanted to watch such movies "The Exorcist" or "Titanic", but been scared to commit the time? Jennifer Shiman has the solution for you. Not only has she shrunk the movies down to only 30 seconds, but they all star cute, lovable bunnies. Now you can catch up with the rest of society and feel better about yourself.

Palm Station: This site should only be used for entertainment purposes only. Have you ever wondered where you could get "cracked" or "patched" Palm OS programs? Not that you would ever download or use any of them, because that's just downright immoral, not to mention illegal. Seriously. I don't condone any of this. Don't do it. It's sooooooo much better to pay for copyrighted programs. It's just the right thing to do. Besides, the site is in some foreign language. You can't understand a damn thing on it anyway.

The Penguin Whacking Game: A shoutout goes to Suz for this one. If you've got irrational fears of penguins (like I do...), it is nice to take control of a yeti and whack them with a club. Try it out! See if you can't beat your best distance!

Lastly, this is for you, Maktaaq. Kava Kava is an herbal supplement that helps relieve stress. I find it nice to pop a capsule right before I go to bed and it helps me drift off to sleep. There are rumors that prolonged use might screw up your kidneys, but hey! You only live once, right? Side effects that I've experienced are vivid dreams and a drunken feeling initially when I wake up. Personally, I really enjoy the dreams.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I was a little shocked when I first heard that Kid Rock was scheduled to play at Barbara and Jenna's super terrific happy fun-time segment of the Inagural Celebration. Having known the content of Kid Rock's music, it just didn't seem to mesh with the "family values" that G.W. Bush likes to tout.

Of course, Kid Rock didn't last long on the schedule. Now there's more time for folks such as Hillary Duff and Jojo to do their things. You know, up until I searched for Jojo to put the link in, I had never heard one of her songs. I can't put into words how horrid that slop is. If you click on the link, I'd suggest you choose the "no music" option. Gaaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh! Oh man! That will haunt my dreams for years, I swear.

Anyway, that isn't what I wanted to rant on. Let's get back to the subject at hand. Entertainment for the inaugural party was either Kid Rock or Jojo. Isn't it scary that this is what the "youth" of America find as entertainment? Well, not so much Kid Rock as Jojo.

Either way, I don't feel really good about this. I think I'm gonna skip flying across the nation to attend the inaugural parties this year.

Jojo? Honestly! I'd rather get hit by a... two ton heavy thing.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Dirty Blue Dolphin...
So, I've returned to the land of Sinister Coffee after the weekend. I almost wrote something yesterday, but stuff kept getting in the way. I knew it was all over when I started making dinner. It was this coconut curry chicken thing with veggies and rice. Mmmmmm... Not bad at all! But then the Sunday night lineup on Fox came on and it was all over.

The weekends have been more eventful lately. Since The Game Room opened up a while back, that's where I've been most of the time. For any of you dear readers in the area, you ought to check it out. There's more to do there than in other clubs in town. You've got billiards, basketball, video games, air hockey and tables set up for poker. And with all that to do, you can get a cool, refreshing beverage to enjoy with it all. If drinking's not your thing, you can get a non-alcoholic drink and relax. Might I recommend the Blue Dolphin? Hee hee hee... Anyhow, I think it deserves four stars. Oh! And if you just want to chill out and watch some TV, the projector screen is the biggest around.

Did you happen to catch Arrested Development last night? Darn it if that show isn't consistently one of the funniest shows on television. I loved George Michael's line about his girlfriend... "She's got a low center of gravity. You can't knock her over!" It had me giggling for a good, long time. No wonder it's won the awards it's gotten.

So, that's about all for now. Enjoy the holiday if you have it. I've got leftovers from last night to keep the love going, so I know I'll have a good day.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Yup, it's Friday...
So last night, probably around 11:30 p.m., I decided to pop a Kava capsule and go to bed. I finally drifted off around 12:30 a.m. and woke up after several strange dreams about half an hour ago. It took me that long to crawl out of bed and reset the DSL modem. For some stupid reason, the think kicked off last night. Well, not kicked off as in died. It just turned itself off. Silly piece of... machinery. Making me press a button! Imagine that!

But now I am feeling a bit loopy. What a great way to start the day. In fact, I'm feeling loopy enough to think this joke was funny. This joke comes from my weekly update from the prairie Home Companion website (another shameless Garrison Keillor plug). I'd love to share this joke with you:
q: How do you catch a polar bear?
a: First you cut a hole in the ice and sprinkle some peas around the hole. Then when a bear comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Classic, isn't it? Anyway, that wasn't what I intended to write. Honestly, I can't remember what I wanted to tell you about today. This is sooooo frustrating. Darn that Kava!

Darn it! I really can't remember what I was gonna tell you, dear reader. Instead, I'll tell you my new favorite way to make garlic bread. First you take the loaf of bread out of the baggie and place it on your cutting board. Then you slice the bread with whatever hand you feel most comfortable with in slices about one inch thick. Then you put the bread in the broiler until it is just slightly toasted (kind of like me after a Kava night...). Take the bread out of the broiler and and rub a fresh clove of garlic on the toasty side a few times. Then you take your bottle of olive oil (or EVOO for you Rachel Ray freaks...) and give the pieces of bread a little drizzle. Now isn't that so much more healthy than slathering it with loads of butter? Mmmm... I really want to eat some garlic bread now. Must be the Kava munchies.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Now with 20% more Hubris!!!
Before I get started on the topic of the day, you might have noticed a little change on the layout of Sinister Coffee today. You see, that little line about drugs and hubris came from somebody who typed that into Google and searched for it. That person found this blog listed in the results and clicked on me. I hope he or she found what they needed here. I, in turn, found a pretty close description of what goes on here. Wouldn't you agree?

Anyhow, I seem to have worked my way out of my reading slump. I give Christopher Moore all the credit. Now I'm enthralled in book by Garrison Keillor called "Lake Wobegon: Summer 1956". It's a darn good read, so far. Well, at least 112 pages into the book, anyway.

Garrison Keillor is best known for his radio program on N.P.R. called A Prairie Home Companion. It's not a show for everybody. In fact, I can imagine that taking myself out of the equation, 100% of The Group (folks I hang with) would be bored to tears with it within the first five minutes. A short description of it would be what old-time radio shows were like back when your grandparents (or great grandparents, for you younger readers) turned to the radio for some after-dinner entertainment before the popularity of the T.V.

For the most part, there are skits and musical performances that fill the show. My favorite part is when Keillor does his reading of "The News from Lake Wobegon". This is a monologue about the goings-on in a fictional town named Lake Wobegon. Sometimes it's funny or other times it's sad or thoughtful. Each time it is truly fascinating. Keillor's voice is the key. It is this soothing, comforting, friendly voice that I wish I could describe better for you. If you were to hear it, you would understand what I'm trying to convey. That is what makes the radio show worth listening to me.

The book has similar content to what the Lake Wobegon monologue has, although the book is a bit more racy. But then the radio show is family based and the book can be a bit more specialized. Personally, I find that it makes Keillor more human. It's like comparing Bob Saget's "America's Funniest Home Video" acting to his stand-up act. Anyhow, this book is pretty darn funny, but I'm not recommending that everybody go out and read it. For my little town, there's only one other copy in the library, so there'd be a rush with pushing and shoving and hurt feelings. Besides, if my Group is typical of the rest of the world, not everybody would be thrilled with it. Just us special few enjoy obsolete entertainment.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

No Sympathy for the Anarchist...
Where does Green Day get off putting out songs like Boulevard of Broken Dreams?

You remember Green Day, right? That angst and anarchy-ridden band of the late 80's? The one that really got it's start with the album named "Dookie"? Yeah, that band. They had such great songs like Long View, Basket Case, Walking Contradiction and Brain Stew. Those are the songs that you'll most likely remember by the title. Green Day songs are a lot like Led Zeppelin songs. You know them all, but you just can't recognize them by the title.

Anyhow, things got a little sketchy for Green Day when they released Good Riddance. Of course you will recognize this song, dear reader, and not be clueless as the rest of the country was. The rest of mainstream America knew the song as "Time Of Your Life". You know, the song that thousands of High Schools used for their Prom Theme and on the soundtrack of their silly Video Yearbooks. IT'S ABOUT LOVE LOST AND BREAKING UP! You fools out there... You silly fools...

Anyhow, I just saw that as a joke on the mainstream. But now this new song that's being played on the radio. I can't brush this off as easily. Am I really supposed to feel sorry for Billie Joe? I can't do it. He's awful whiney for someone who is taking on the new look of punk. Get over it, Green Day! You had such great energy with American Idiot. Don't go all wishy washy on us!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Beware The Fog!!!
This morning, it appears that the fog as lifted. This is a good thing for the folk of my little town. It was foggy yesterday, and it quite nearly put The Fear in me. Well, not quite The Fear, but more like a good giggling fit. Yeah, that's about right.

You see, I was going to my local Credit Union to take care of some Official Business. Russ and Carla are preparing to jump through one of the infinite hoops that one must jumped through to become a citizen of these great United States of America. They are gathering letters of reference to send to Nebraska. Good times, huh? Anyway, these letters of reference need to be notarized. And the local Credit Union will do this for me for free because I'm a member of it.

Anyway, while I was at the nexus of my little town (that would be at the intersection of Main and Vine Streets), I witnessed an auto accident. The day was rather foggy. At that particular location, the visibility was probably about half a block or so. There was a line of us waiting to turn onto Main Street from Vine Street. The light turned green and one vehicle shot out and made the turn, then stopped instantly. It seems that there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk. The second car, taking cue from the first car, also shot out to make the turn, only to be stopped by the already stopped first vehicle. I sat behind the two cars in the intersection just giggled after the screech and the sound of broken plastic had happened. Dumbasses!

Anyway, the idiots sat in the intersection for the duration of the green light, then decided to pull over on Main Street and do whatever needed to be done. I waited through my red light and watched the two parties. They pointed wildly at the intersection and looked at the damage to their cars.

When the light turned green, I cautiously looked for pedestrians. When I didn't see any, I made my left turn (trying to avoid running over any evidence of the crash) and continued on my way.

The only way the day could have turned out better would be if I had been the pedestrian that was the catalyst of the whole ordeal. Now that would have been sweet!

Monday, January 10, 2005

The Hype...
I'd love to tell you, dear reader, that I am a complete individual. I would love to tell you that I am never swayed by the slightest bit of advertising or promotion. It's not the truth, though, not the complete truth. I am pretty good about doing what I want regardless of what the pressures are, but I gave in and watched some TV that I wasn't planning on watching. I'd been hammered with the relentless ads and hype, and I have to admit that my interest was piqued... just slightly, though.

You see, last night was the season premier of 24 on the Fox Network. Not only did I watch the first episode straight through, but I watched the second with great interest. And if that wasn't bad enough, I was rather excited when I learned that there would be more of it on tonight.

Now I can hear you saying that the show isn't all bad and I'm probably a fool for missing out on the last three(?) seasons. I can't actually hear your voices... they would just confuse and anger the voices that are there already... But back to the point. Why does this bother me so much (giving in to the hype, not the voices in my head... they get mad when I question their existence)? It's because I've come to hate watching the news. And isn't that what 24 is? Like a prelude to the real-life news, but only involving pretty people and a fast-forwarded story line?

Alas, I think I'll probably be a good little "Do-Bee" and watch 24 and enjoy it. Oh, and I've discovered that microwave popcorn tastes even better if you sprinkle a little Parmesan cheese on it. Maybe tonight I'll try a little garlic powder on it too. Mmmm...

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Fabio! Nooooooooooo!!!
Yaaaawwwwwwn. I'm writing today hoping for some sort of therapeutic side-effect to kick in. I am tired...

I went and babysat the club again last night with Doug, Cereal Killer and Bunny. Cereal Killer was looking for some backup for the first weekend and Doug and myself were able and willing to oblige.

Most things went well, but on the strange side of the evening, the crowd was totally different than Friday's. The night before last (Friday), there weren't as many people, but they were a mellow and happy bunch. The liquor flowed and it was an enjoyable time. Last night (Saturday), it was more tense and high strung. Beer was the beverage of choice and was consumed by the pitcher and the bottle. But on the downside, the crowd was more destructive and impersonal. The bartenders and cocktail server took home embarrassingly few tips and our creatively decorated bathrooms took some vandalism.

I'm not totally sure what the difference was, but I'd say it was an age thing. Saturday's crowd was younger, on average, than Friday's. I guess that's what you would expect, though. What we didn't expect was that the women were more imaginative in their destruction than the men were in the bathrooms. Where the men just ripped down the hand towel machine, the women pulled the decorations off the walls.

Most unexpectedly was the cardboard cut-out of Fabio. He was firmly stapled to the wall at the beginning of the night, but by the end of it, he turned up in a stall with wet toilet paper plastered on his face. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Darn it if you women aren't devious!

Saturday, January 08, 2005


(I'm a little tired right now. When that happens, I get verbose)

I'm feeling a little somber today. I'm not exactly sure why, but there could be a few reasons. I heard yesterday that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are breaking up. That might be the reason, but probably not. What I'm tentatively placing blame on is my lack of sleeping music last night. I decided not to listen to any music and just enjoy the silence. Relative silence, that is.

We've had some downright gnarly wind blowing through here for a day (gusts to 65 MPH). When I say a day, I mean nearly twenty-four hours worth. It hasn't been snowing, per-se, but what snow is on the ground is blowing across the roads making for some crazy drifts. Anyhow, I decided to listen to the wind while falling asleep last night. Maybe this is responsible for my mood.

Last night I went to B. and Cereal Killer's club on an official business night. They've been working on opening the club since the end of July last year. We've had several parties there while things were under construction, the latest being on New Year's Eve. That one was kind of a dry run to see how things worked. Apparently, it was enough to prove to them that they were ready to go. They opened up officially on Wednesday and have been pulling in fairly decent business, especially when you consider that they've only relied on word-of-mouth so far.

It was a fun night last night. I stuck around with Doug until nearly "last call", which happens here in Utah at 1:00 a.m. This gives folks plenty of time to sober up and leave by 2:00 a.m. Yeah, right. Folks here like to complain about the seemingly nonsensical liquor laws. There are some things that just don't make sense, but at least we don't live in a "dry county". There are towns nearby that don't issue liquor licenses to restaurants and prohibit the sale of beer in convenience stores. Hmmm... It can be frustrating when folks with underlying agendas run amok and make laws.

But on the lighter side, I've rediscovered just how lovely it sounds when "Insomnia" by Faithless gets played really, really, really, really loud. It's therapeutic. I do believe this!

Friday, January 07, 2005

Ready to go...
Ok. This is gonna be a little scattered today. This is just how my mind feels, so I'm just gonna go with it.

I woke up today fresh from a dream that I'd just moved to Washington state. It was such a pleasant dream... much more pleasant than I've had in quite a few days. The house I moved into was a larger than average dwelling. Actually, the basement was a lot larger than your average basement. It was larger than the top of the house, too. The whole house was immaculately decorated except for the front room. It had several folding chairs in it, as well as a stove, a fridge and a sink. Even though the room was so out of place with the rest of the house, I was absolutely thrilled with it all.

Also, for some insane reason, I was listening to the Michael Savage radio show last night. The man is a tyrant and a monster, but it's strangely refreshing that the man seems to hate the Republicans just as much as the Democrats. I decided to listen to him for a bit because of something I was reading on a chat-board a while ago. Somebody was saying that more of main-stream America would enjoy listening to him more if they took the effort to decipher when the man was serious and when he was joking. I've listened to him several nights now and I can't say that I know when he's joking. I don't think this is because I am dense or too sensitive, as I am a great fan of satire. I think the man is dead serious. I fear that more people will listen to that mess he broadcasts and take him seriously. He's awful!

And lastly, ohhhhh do I need a Coke. I can feel one of those caffeine headaches setting in. I've been trying to remember when I had last had one. At the very latest, it would have been on New Year's Eve. I can't remember having one since. Man, I need a Coke.

And lastly (for real, this time), I can't help but plug a blog I just discovered. Jeff Tweiten of Seattle, WA, has been waiting in his very own line in front of the Seattle Cinerama Theatre since the first of this month. He is set to be the first in line to see the new Star Wars movie when it comes out... in five months. I guess he waited in line for 3+ months for a previous Star Wars movie some time ago. You can read about his exploits here. I'm not advocating what he's doing, but you ought to read what he's written because it's just sooooo darn funny. Apparently he cannot take creative criticism. Hee hee hee...

Thursday, January 06, 2005

King of the Food Geeks...
I've decided it's time to announce who my new food hero is. I usually only have room in my attention span to keep one hero at a time, although Julia Child reigns Queen Supreme in my mind. She will never be dethroned, I am quite sure.

Anyway, some time ago, my hero was Martha Stewart. I got bored with her well before the mess with stock tips. Although, she became slightly more interesting when she went to jail. Anybody whom society deems unfit to walk the streets becomes more interesting than most other people I know, in my opinion. I looked around a while and decided to replace Martha with Rachel Ray.

Rachel was cute in a quirky kind of way, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand how my brother's wife Carla couldn't stand her. Carla is from Brazil and I thought that it just might be some sort of cultural difference. But then things started subtly creeping into my mind. What I thought was cute and quirky in the beginning soon became just downright annoying and freakish. She will commonly cook with olive oil. But it's not just the regular stuff, it's "EVOO: Extra Virgin Olive Oil". She will say that EVERY DAMN TIME SHE PICKS UP THE BOTTLE! It's just not right, I tell you, not right at all!

So Rachel was kicked to the proverbial curb in my mind. Who else would take the coveted place of Favorite Food Geek in my mind? I considered Giada De Laurentiis for a bit, but the lingering camera shots of her fingers as she chopped onions or dumped oregano into a pot kinda wierded me out a bit. Paula Deen was in the running, though. I gave her some serious consideration because she speaks a comforting southern accent and does some downright funky things with ingredients that you'd never expect. When I say funky, I mean outright intriguing and interesting. Wild and scary things with pineapple that I'd never dream of... and this was a good thing.

But who ended up on top of the pile ultimately was Alton Brown. Here is a better website that is worth looking at. That dude is all kinds of intense, I tell you what! Sure, he isn't the snazziest looking guy on Food Network, but he can really school you. His show, Good Eats, is a perfect balance of recipes and entertainment and science all rolled up into a neat little half hour package. If you want to watch something different in a cooking show, search out Alton. He's some darn good stuff.

And last night, he actually won out over South Park, so you know he's gotta be good!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Deep in my bones...
Ya know what? I'm taking it back. I am going to say what I wasn't going to say yesterday. Actually, I'm gonna downright complain about it. MY HANDS HURT!

It's this beastly arthritis that I have developed in them over the past few years that's the cause of it all. Isn't that a kick in the, well... teeth? I am in my 31st year and I've got stupid arthritis. I've been hitting the Arthritis Relief Tylenol bottle on a semi-regular basis to keep from going crazy. Believe me, it's a dent in my pride every time I open the bottle too. Not only am I taking "old people" drugs, it comes in a bottle with an easy-open lid that screams out "FEEBLE!" I am currently feeling a bit of humility. I don't like this.

Today the pain is worse than usual. I woke up to find at least a foot of snow on the ground that wasn't there when I went to bed. In fact, when I went to bed last night, I looked at my ugly, dying lawn and giggled some about when it was last mowed.

Anyhow, there was a decent amount of snow to shovel this morning. That's right... shovel. What an ungodly activity to participate in at 6:30 a.m.

So, that's my rant today. I was getting all geared up to rant about Green Day and Blink 182, but that will have to wait. You understand, right? I knew you would.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

More cartoon lunacy...
I won't bore you with the details, but I won't tell you what I was going to tell you. I realized just in time that I'd already told you about it, and I just don't want to bore you with it again. Good enough?

There are some strange things out there on the internet. I would like to share with you a few new sites that I've found that should prove my point.

First off, there's an artist named Michael Paulus who has some really wild ideas. I think that some of his stuff is kind of a hybrid of his work with the work of others. You'll have to look closer at the site to see what I mean. What I really want to expose you to, though, are his Skeletal Systems. You see, if you were to take a cartoon character and peel away the skin and layers in a Gray's Anatomy kind of way... Well, that's what you get here.

Because of my newly acquired aversion to news-type shows, it was only by chance that I caught a minute or two of "60 Minutes", but what I caught was this rant by Andy Rooney. What a bitter, old man. Although I think I'm well on my way to becoming bitter like him, I'll have a better appreciation for art than he does.

Secondly, I've been somewhat amazed by the amount of Flash animation available on the web. There has been some really good stuff that floors me, and then there's this stuff. It really isn't bad, it's just kinda bizarre in nature (in a completely work or cubicle friendly way, though). You see, you have to have some background in Nintendo video games to get it, though. Princess Peach is the character that Mario is continually trying to save from the likes of Bowser (and even Donkey Kong, if you remember back that far!). Anyhow, Andy seems to think that he's the one who's married to Peach. I'm quite sure that Mario would have a fireball that would say otherwise. Good think that Mario isn't real... But then Peach isn't real either... So this just proves that Andy is just strangely obsessed with a video game character.

It's a darn good think that I've never had a crush on a video game character...

cough, cough... Blackrose!

Monday, January 03, 2005

Part of the solution...
You've heard that before, right?

"Don't be part of the problem, be part of the solution."

Well, I'm all jazzed up and ready to go. I've got the Modest Mouse CD in the player and a bottle of water by my side. And while I write this post up, I am thinking of you. I think of you and your welfare a lot, dear reader. You've got me in your corner, so don't fear!

Things got serious here a few days ago. I got rather bummed out about the way the world was going. But now I've got an idea that would make things go better for all of us. What it comes down to is that we need to get more children's programming broadcast on PBS later on at night. What better than to come home and get a good buzz going with your chemical or herb of choice and just spend the rest of the evening laughing like an idiot? I've got a visual example for you, just in case you need a little help.

Which would you prefer to watch?
Image Hosted by or Image Hosted by

I'd take the Boohbah over John McLaughlin any day. Sure, the two of them are a little bit scary in their own ways, but Zumbah (yes, that's it's name...) is less wrinkly.

And when you're done watching the shows, the websites are another way to enjoy your buzz. Sure, The McLaughlin Group's website is just as interactive as the Boohbah website, but you get so many neat colors and sounds with the Boohbahs.

So, I'm writing letters to the programming directors across the nation and letting them know of my plan. PBS, being the kinder, gentler network, will jump on this idea. I just know it!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

The Healing Powers of Gordon Lightfoot...
Now before you go running off half-cocked, I don't mean Gordon Freeman of the Half Life video game series. Although that H.E.V. suit he wears would come in handy at times...

Truth be told, I was feeling pretty low on New Year's eve. I sat down and typed up the previous post, then kicked in the City of Angels movie soundtrack and had a good think. Then I decided I needed some happy music to get me going.

Some years ago, when my mom was exposing me to such musical talent as Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond, I was also introduced to Gordon Lightfoot. Like any apathetic or authority-hating teenager, I despised all the music I grew up listening to. But now, I really enjoy it. So I dug out my copy of Gord's Gold and had a listen. Sure enough, it did the trick. I gained a better attitude for the day and have been happier since.

It's funny how things like that work out. Despite the rough times of growing up and my parent's divorce and all, I can still find some peace and happiness in such an album.

In other news, I've been developing a theory about Green Day songs. Don't you worry, dear reader, I will bore you with it some other time.